Am I a cynic? Or what?

The more I attempt to improve my performance the more I find I have grimy little pockets of self-deception that I have to deal with. 

Only recently have I conceded that I have to drop to no more than 165 lbs to cross the barrier from `finisher' to `wiener' (uh, I think I mean `winner').

Intervals.  I've avoided them.  I actually restricted my cycling to `ultracycling' so as avoid intervals.  Intervals are uncomfortable, hard and sometimes just really scary. 

Sandbagging.  I'd carry the kitchen sink on training rides.  The deceptive rationale was: "I can't go fast because I'm carrying too many tubes, tires, clothes, tools, too much water, food, etc."  And then I'd find cover in "but I'm an ultracyclist and you don't want to be caught out on the Mongolian Steppes without at least four gallons of Hammer shit." 

Today I read about a fellow who managed to do a sub-4 hour 100 miler.  I'm purposely going to not name the fellow or the bike because I'm trying to be less of a prick these days.  Most of the time. 

The sub-4 guy attributes his accomplishment to the wonders of the bike he rode (he owns the company, as it turns out).  Claims the bike is special, remarkable, brilliant, etc. 

It's not.  But it is different. 

`Different' is like the right shoe is different from the left shoe. 

`Special' is when the right shoe also works on the left foot. 

His bike ... it's good on the flats, with few intersections, with little vehicular traffic, with a tailwind, is really aero ... and is mechanically reliable as long as you have a pro mechanic or two to keep it working. 

Hype. 

So. 

• I'm a inveterate rationalizer. 
• A wiener (I mean `winner'). 
• I procrastinate. 
• I make up excuses. 
• I'm not as much the prick I used to be. 
• And I have less patience with creepy generalizations. 
• Maybe, too, I'm a cynic. 

Nah.  I'm not a cynic.

I'm a sharp-eyed, no-bullshit skeptic.