Thinning The Herd #4 ... And Counting

So.  Today I was noodling my way up the Spars.  As I turn to summit MP 305 I see a collection of vehicles and people standing around on the side of the road. 

Honestly, how do people manage to crash into the side of a mountain when going uphill?! 

Today's lucky winner is a fellow who said, when I asked how did it happen: "I dunno.  It just turned on it's own into the dirt." 

On it's own.  His motorcycle "turned on it's own."  

Is that a hallucination?  Something to do with God on Sunday?  Evil spirits?  Bad joo-joo?

Reminds me of when I was changing one of my son's diapers years ago.  "Ooh.  Who pooped in your pants?"  "Uhhh.  I dunno?"

So.  I asked the (surviving) motorcyclist: "Your head is bleeding.  Did the EMT's look at that?"
HIM: "Nah.  `m'alright." 
ME: "Did your helmet take the brunt of the hit?"
HIM: "What helmet?"

Several miles later I come across another motorcyclist on the side of the road.  His motorcycle is half on and half off the road.  He sees me and walks my way so I stop.  He's wearing what looks like a Gucci `Outlaw Biker' leather vest and a faux dirty headband.  The vest doesn't quite cover his drooping belly in his "Harley Davidson" $75 t-shirt.

ME:  "You o.k.?"
HIM:  "Oh yah.  I'm fine."
ME:  "Can I help?"
HIM: "You got some gas?" "Ha." "Ha."
ME: (Pregnant extended silence as I stare at him) "Gas?"
HIM: "Yah.  I just run outta gas."
ME: (A certain incredulous look on my face).  "Umm.  Uh.  No.  But I got half a Power Bar.  You want that?"  (Get it?  Power bar?)
HIM: (Ignoring my offer).  "How you ride that thing?  Looks real uncomfortable."
ME: (Still incredulous look) "Umm.  I'm o.k."

A motorcycle. 
He's out of gas.
On a hill. 

I know I shouldn't have said this but ....

ME: (Attempting to be humorous):  "For the right money I'll give you a pull." 
HIM: "Ha."